How to Speak Up When You Can’t See Faces or the Visual Cues Coming Your Way?

Paying with a card

Description:

A woman with a white cane puts her credit card into the gloved hand of a cashier.

People who see well (and maybe you in the past) use their eyes, faces, and bodies all the time to add to what they say. They make eye contact, turn towards you, or smile, but to you it’s invisible! You may come across as unfriendly or out-of-it,

It’s a problem for all of us who live with vision impairment or blindness. Many conversations don’t begin with speech at all! They begin with nodding and smiling. First you see the receptionist or friend (except we don’t) then you walk up to them so you are in the right place to talk. Then you speak! (Check end of post.)

Anyone with good sight may try visual cues as a silent invitation. But for you it didn’t happen! Yet every time you go somewhere or just open the front door it’s a problem, and can be awkward or downright distressing.

So what to do about this void which you feel but can’t get past? You, all of us, have to speak up! To take charge, and change the interaction from sight to speech.

Yet almost no-one in the blindness rehab community offers groups or classes on how speech changes with sight loss, and what to do about it.

I, and probably you too had to face this on my own when vision loss was new and grief just begun. We all plunge in and adopt a coping mechanism that may not be productive.

Even if you have grown up with vision loss or received adult blindness training it’s unlikely that self-advocacy – how to speak effectively – was a course in the curriculum. This hole in most people’s practical knowledge of interacting with the sighted world limits our ability to broaden our independence and to increase our social outreach.

So what’s the key to speaking up without seeing much or at all? We need to speak assertively, not loud or bossy, but cheerful, firm, and specific, even if we aren’t sure what’s going on. It’s the same skill set that a sales person develops. If you are a confident extrovert this may be obvious, but for you and me who may be less bold, We have to build up our skills.

The pandemic cut off so much independent action for anyone living with sight loss. So many opportunities for practice disappeared; asking for information or assistance on the street, in stores, cafes, and at meetings, and events all became difficult or nearly impossible.

If you are just beginning to speak up, or want to get back more independence start with places where employees are paid to serve customers or patients; Being independent at a social event takes more confidence and skill.

Speaking up is a double or triple skill because we are also coaching the employee to respond with just words, not visual indicators and cues, “Tap on the red button,” or “Your bag is over there ”. We have to be friendly and cheerful so the cashier, medical assistant or acquaintance doesn’t feel guilty or stupid and wants to keep talking. It’s a skills set that may take a lot of practice.

In the photo at the top of the post I am handing my card to the checkout guy: “Will you manage the payment screen please?” I also ask for the total, and a receipt.

it’s tempting to hand over shopping to sighted family or do it online,

instead of going to the store at least sometimes, choosing a quiet time and asking for assistance. (Check end of post.) Meantime our skills atrophy, and we feel nervous even though employees like assisting a friendly customer rather than stocking shelves or managing the register.

I hope to write a short practice book, a companion to my award-winning book: When You Can’t Believe Your Eyes: Vision Loss and Personal Recovery (published by Charles C. Thomas, 2019). On NLS Talking books, Bookshare, and Google Play Books.

` If you have good directional hearing and good cane skills walking up to the person speaking to you may be practical, but not if the person is just using non-verbal communication, NVC.

` Under the Americans with Disabilities Act stores are not obliged to provide a personal shopping assistant, but most big stores do. Call ahead if it’s your first time.

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