It is not only the person going through sight loss who experiences shock and grief. My post ( Dealing with Vision Loss in Your Partner, Parent or Best Friend, from 2014 has on-going comments from first publication to just last week. Partners often lack emotional support and somewhere to relax as well as someone to talk to.
None of the many commenters mention other family members who are taking part in the care and comfort of the couple. Just one more person added would make a team, and such a difference. Two more could lift much of the heavy exhausting burden from the spouse.
We all want to hide our pain. We don’t want to talk about it until we are through the worst. And educating someone else, even someone close about what is happening can seem yet another burden.
But one more person managing the grocery
delivery, or the medical appointments, or a weekly break for the caring partner would convert the one-person endless effort into a team. The team member doesn’t have to live nearby though of course that would be great.
Here are some suggestions but start with whichever of these seems easiest and then consider adding more:
Ask a tech-savvy friend to check out best treatments for your partner’s diagnosis, also best ophthalmologists for that specialty in your region
Have friend follow up on medical insurance and prescription issues and payments
Consider sending friend grocery needs each week for pick up or delivery. (Can share list on smart speaker app. ) Same with pharmacy or other needs
Ask neighbors, church, club etc. to arrange meal train during time of intense medical visits
Walk with friend each week leaving partner comfortable at home with snack or drink.
Arrange a weekly counseling/therapy session for yourself with a therapist experienced in loss and family dynamics
Encourage your spouse to take on one or two daily tasks such as loading/emptying the dishwasher, doing a basic laundry, (put a few bump dots on important buttons)
Make sure you have phone calls to dear friends or family each week for support
Ensure the same for your partner with different friends or family.
Here’s a few sentences from my book, Chapter 1 of When You Can’t Believe Your Eyes in the section called “What About the Family”
“They need help too. They need their own friends to confide in, and maybe counseling or therapy as well. (A professional to talk to can be a great relief for your partner or whoever is taking on the extra tasks and rides.) If you can all hang in there over the first months, or maybe a year or two, a “new normal” can emerge. There are plenty of successful vision impaired/sighted families.”
When You Can’t Believe Your Eyes: Vision Loss and Personal Recovery, Available in 4 formats as well as free copies.
Here are 2 other posts for partners:
Dealing with Vision Loss in Your Partner, Parent or Best Friend