Losing your sight is like waking up from a comfortable dream.
When you first fall out of the dream of a “normal” life, it’s as if reality has been turned on its head. The new reality seems too heavy; it can’t be true! Surely you can scramble back to the life you lived just last month, last year. Awakening from the dream seems so harsh you can only bear it for short periods.
It must be the same with any other life loss. You believe much of the time that there is a solution and life will be pleasurable and “normal” again. You refuse, deny, you think you know better. You invent a new dream where you are in control. Or you sink your dreams into your family. Or you fall into despair.
Now you must spoil yourself. You have to treat yourself like a prince and find lots of validation and praise for every effort you make. Self-criticism is deeply damaging. You must look after yourself with tenderness and great care. You will need to be self-involved too, talking endlessly about your loss.
You may be working hard on new skills for your sight loss, belong to a support group, or have great adaptive tech skills, yet inside you are still stuck in your ego. Egos are vital for defense against condescending remarks or people telling you what to do, but egos are also great deceivers! Your ego wants to believe you can have it all again. You can tell when your dreams are unreal – they seem easy!
You have to wait and work for the time to unpack, to work through the pain of taking down your defenses and recognizing that your ego, while it needs to be strong, is not your essential self. The dream of your sighted life while still very useful slips into the background. A new dream begins to emerge to be cared for like a new bud – where will it lead you?